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Communication and the Keys to be better 06/24/2023

 This week we are going to talk about communication and the lack of communication. Part of what we will talk about is how to effectively communicate and the importance of tone of voice and non-verbal cues. We will also talk about the five secrets of communication. Well, now that we have the quick break down explained we should just hop right into our deep dive.

When we think of a conversation our first thought is two people responding with words or a text of words to something the other person said. But have you ever just been sitting at a table or a bench and had someone walk up and ask if you are doing okay or if they could help in any way, I have and it kind of surprised me but it also helped me a lot. This was probably a reacting to non-verbal cues that they were picking up on. I had been really struggling and a lot was going on in my life and even though I though I was hiding it all and had not said anything, a friend walking by noticed that something was off and sat down to talk. This actually happens a lot, meaning our non-verbal cues are a lot louder than our words. It has actually been broken down that nonverbal cues make up about 51percent of communication and words alone are actually only 14 percent . But this is not always the case, my friend and I kind of put it to the test with some friends. The guys in the group were completely focused on the words and were so lost because they missed the non-verbal cues. This is defiantly not always the case but if you ever feel like someone just is NOT understanding you, try using more words and verbally expressing those non-verbal cues.

Well if you did the math we are still missing 35 percent of total communication. This 35 percent is allotted to tone of voice. Tone of voice is defined as "how the character of your business comes through in your words, both written and spoken". Which is the emotion behind our words, which is why there is so much miss communication when texting. This is something that we all face and even with emojis there is still so much lost.

So with the three key aspects of communication explained lets hop into the five secrets of communication! The first is the disarming technique, its all about finding some fraction of truth is what someone said and verbally recognizing it. This needs to be done even is part or most of everything in side of us thinks that it is unreasonable because it will quickly lower the fight response in the other person. Secret number two is empathy, we need to be striving to put ourselves in the shoes of others and to strive to see things how they see them. This is down but verbally showing that we recognize what they are saying but also by matching our non-verbal cues and tone to theirs so that we are matching our feelings to theirs. The third is inquiry. Ask question, be gentle about it and strive to learn more about their thoughts and feelings. Secret number four is to use "I Feel" statements. For example do not blatantly call them stupid or wrong this will not help anything when it sounds like you are placing blame or degrading them. The fifth and final secret is called stroking. This is about conveying respect through our attitude and striving to be genuinely positive and not getting overly heated during the conversation. In the end communication is key and also very complicated.

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