Divorce & remarriage

 People who entertain the thoughts of divorce are also entertaining untrue thoughts. Well if you did not guess it, I will just tell ya. Today we are talking about divorce and remarriages. Both of which can get a little sticky and whether or not we know it or recognizes it one or both have affected ether us or one of our friends. As always we get deep into our topics and at the same time we look at the numbers. So please keep an open mind and let it all seek in. Well lets dive!

Numbers first though. One in specific is 70 percent. Why that one? Well 70% of people who get divorces end up regretting it within two years. 70% of men who get divorced end up remarried within those same two years. The last statistic is that 70% of the couples who said that they were very dissatisfied in their marriage but stuck it out reported five years later that they were now satisficed or very satisfied. Those are the numbers, all gathered in studies.

The next part of it all that I want to talk about are the types of divorce. There are four of them and in my opinion NONE of them are pretty. The first is economic, meaning its all about the money and that that is probably what the arguments start over. The next is social divorce. This is when you start by forcing your friends to choose sides and honestly is very childish. Third is emotional, its kind of straight forward. It is when we create an emotional wall and lock them out. The last is Parental, when an division begins between the parents and its about the kids and how to parent. Did you find the connection. Each one begins with the couple disagreeing and going behind the others back. It all begins with simple disagreements that one or both decide not to resolve. Following those disagreements resentment is held onto and untrue thoughts begin to come more often and are given more energy than the true thoughts.

Remember those numbers that we got all the numbers out in the open, lets talk about them and get a little deeper that the surface level. First lets look a little deeper at those who regret it and combine it with the quote we began this blog with. 70 percent of people regret their decision to get divorced and those who think about divorce are entertaining untrue thoughts. People lets seriously look at this. If only we would just learn to trust and communicate.

Now sometimes divorce is the path to take and somewhere down the road you are apart of a blended family. This option still is not easy and that whole needing to trust and communicate will never be more true to your life. It is important to figure out a sense of normalcy and this takes time. In fact it will take years, so do not give up if the first six months are nothing like you thought they would be. You now have to figure out your role whether you are the birth parent or the step parent. Lets talk about this, see now more than ever you and your spouse should be having more conversations behind closed doors show your kids that you are a team and that they can not divide you. Because they have already watch at least one of the most important relationships in their lives get broken and not heal. They will test this one. The biological parent should be the one that takes on most of the discipline, allow some time for the kids to warm up to your new spouse and do not make them the bad guy. Step parent do not cave to the pressure of wanting the kids to like you and let them break rules that their bio parents have set. No matter what part of life and relationships you are in communication will always be vital.